All Is Not Well

There’s this classmate of mine who worked very hard for 2 years for IIT and scored brilliant marks in every mock exam but broke down completely on the D-day; he, who was considered a sure shot IIT-JEE top ranker, couldn't even qualify the exam. In fact, his shaken confidence affected him in all other exams that followed and he couldn't secure good marks in any. He then took a drop and will be appearing for all of those exams again this year. I hope he has maintained his cool this time to achieve what he deserves. However, another friend of mine could not handle this added pressure. He did not give the 2nd paper of IIT-JEE 2010 because he thought he hadn't performed well in the first. All this after he had got an 8000 something rank in IIT-JEE 2009 and then had taken a year drop and gone to Kota to study even more religiously. For the past couple of months, we’ve been reading about student suicides on almost daily basis. Is it surprising then that they coincide with the months of exams?
Something is wrong. Something is very, very wrong over here. It would be easier to take a dialogue from ‘Taare Zameen Par’ or ‘3 Idiots’ and put the blame on the whole damn system. “Pura system-hi galat hai”, isn’t it? It’s very comfortable to sit there and say that. Have you ever wondered what might have been going on in that student’s mind before he committed suicide? How torturous were his feelings that thought death calmer and peaceful? How badly can a child be affected by pressure that he cannot even bring himself to appear for that very exam for which he had burned the midnight oil for years together? How much tension must he be carrying that it affected him to the point that he blanked out during the exam?
What is this tension, this pressure all about? I am sorry to say, but more often then not, majority of it comes from parents. They might not even be aware of it but their expectations are enough to frighten the child. It always remains at the back of his mind that my parents have given me so much, invested all their time and money, and now, if I don’t perform, they’ll be dejected like hell. ‘Cause, often, parents are more affect by their ward’s failure than he himself. And seeing his parent’s disappointment affects the child greater in turn. Sometimes, the expectations of their teachers also added to it. You don’t need to be an Einstien to know that it’s tougher to walk with lots of weights attached to you. Look, I am not ‘blaming’ parents or teachers. What I’m trying to say is that they should make sure that the child is burden free; only then can he run.
And again there is this thing called society and peer pressure. If he could score so much, why cant I or why cant my child? This race is enough to snuff out someone’s life, either literally or figuratively. Why do we need a suicide note to wake us up? Why can’t we see the depression sucking him in like a whirlpool? Forgive me for the ultra-clichéd Hindi film line but “ek depression mein jee raha student pal pal hazaroon maut marta hain.”
It isn’t right to solely blame the education system. As Prof. Viru Sahastrabuddhe rightly asks, “Agar ek student pressure nahi utha paya to tum humko dosh doge? Aage jaa ke life mein isse bhi jya pressure wale situations aayengi. Tab bhi kya tum dusron-ko hi dosh doge?” But it is imperative that the student be assured, with conviction, that these exams are not the end of life; that it really wont be a great deal if he fails. And the parents really need to believe in what they say because a child is sensitive enough to know what his parents actually think.
Very few movies like TZP and 3 Idiots have come up which deal with the issue of student psychology. And its time to wake up and take a leaf out of them and help your child. ‘Cause, looking at the depression all around me, all is not well, bhaiyya… certainly all is not well!