There are times when I despise having to stay in a hostel with no net connection in my room… There have been times when I’ve wanted to blog desperately but couldn’t do so… (You might say that I could have paid a visit to a nearby net café but time constraint in such over priced cyber cafes and blog-writing don’t gel in harmony for me at least!)
30th October, 2009 tops the list of such times…
A few minutes ago, I sat down resolutely to write this post; I finished the first paragraph and now I am unable to type any further…Not that I don’t know what to write; it’s just that I don’t know how to write it… I type something and then back-space it all… I mean, where the hell do I start from? A million events and their dates create a pandemonium in my head…!
30th Oct, 2008… he came slowly in that white shirt… filling the screen gradually with his presence… that mesmerizing voice called out; making goose bumps erupt all over… No wait! Rewind to 22nd Oct, 2008… that name flashed on the screen after ages… I had waited with blind faith for that moment; closing my eyes, refusing to see a substitute title during those months in between… Nostalgia clouds my eyes…
And in a flash the memories come rushing back… the police officer who dropped Shubhra home… did anyone suspect then that he would eventually become the most loved persona ever?... He went on to flay everyone with his wit, dedication and charm… those but-we-are-still-just-boys scenes with Abhi… the loyalty he showed towards his mentor… the honesty he maintained in his relationships…
Oh! How I wish I would not have recalled the day he recounted his life story to Dr. Samant or that 5th March phone conversation with Priya coz I knew these already moist eyes would leak like they are doing now; like they do always… but what can I do? His own tear-stained face swims before my eyes… I couldn’t hold those damn tears back while watching it the first time, I cannot hold them back now nor will I ever be able to… Each of the million hearts that watched him on these occasions is sure to have bled profusely watching him in despair…!
And those very million souls pleaded and prayed for his return when he disappeared all of a sudden in July! Don’t I remember myself refusing to believe that he had gone? Don’t I remember hoping and praying, that he returns, every single day when I closed my eyes during the title track? It was as if we could bring him back just by willing that he would…
And he did. Like a crescendo he emerged out of the dark... And she stood there; her eyes moistening with joy while trying to take in his presence in one glance; not daring to blink lest he disappears as if a hallucination… "Kuthe hota itke divas?" "Mala parat asa sodun tar janaar nahit na?" Those very questions, those very emotions beat a hundred times louder in our hearts… Whatever she said and expressed was as if our feelings were being personified… Nobody will deny that they too wanted the last question answered first… Was it God-willed that he could not answer the question at that time…?
27th Dec, 2008 – He handed a brown envelope to Chandu and walked away with his back turned into the darkness; never to return… They said that his bike was found in the valley, sans his body though… And there she was… crying… each of his memories engulfing her… But unlike 30th Oct, this time, I was not sure she echoed my feelings… No, this time around, her portrayal of grief felt somewhat diminished before what I was feeling… Coz somehow, I knew that he would never again return…
He was gone… forever…
Throughout my post so far, I’ve not once mention him by his name… Vikrant. Inspector Vikrant Bhosle. I was not talking about Satish Rajwade. Don’t confuse between the two. I was talking about my Vikrant, your Vikrant, our Vikrant…!
I am so sorry, Sir. You said never to mention that serial again… But, Sir, this not about the serial; this is about Vikrant. Though Vikrant was a character, he was not limited to the confines of that show. Coz he was never just ‘a character’. He was real… for us. He lived… for us. He breathed… for us. Whatever they might have showed, he is not dead… not for us, at least! As far as we are concerned, he lives on… in our psyche. And he always will… forever…
And that is why, Sir, in the last week, when you turned around, wearing that same uniform in Agnihotra, a hundred hearts rejoiced; those hearts which always wait, searching for him… And till it became clear that the name is Inspector Dushyant, there might not have been a single soul who will deny that they wanted his name to be Vikrant. As my friend Niha put it that day, "Even though I know that it is legally not permissible, how I wish his name be Vikrant Bhosle!"
All of us are very happy and extremely grateful to see you back on screen again, Sir! But at the same time, I feel a bit guilty. Coz, somehow, whether knowingly or unknowingly, we will always search for our Vikrant in Inspector Dushyant! I know it is unfair on our part. But we cannot help it. Whenever we come across the name ‘Vikrant’, or when we see a police inspector, with a pang, we think of our Vikrant. As I have said before, he will continue to live forever in our minds…
At every mention of that name, with every sight of that uniform, with every whisper of that voice, the heads will turn; the minds searching… searching for that comforting presence, that reassuring smile, that mesmerizing voice, that irresistible charm… We’ll never stop looking for him… The wait for Vikrant is eternal…
